The comfort of online graveyards

In class we tackled the question, Do we seek digital immortality? Whether it be through our blogs, facebook accounts, or sites we have created, many are driven to create these sites with “digital immortality” as a major incentive. However, recently people have used sites like facebook and myspace to preserve the memory of not only themselves but of loved ones that have passed on.

One way sites like myspace and facebook have been used to immortalize the deceased can be seen in the continual posting of comments on the profiles of those who have died. A few years back a friend of mine, Jamie Kellerman, who also happened to be an avid myspace user, was killed in a car crash. On her myspace page, friends posted thousands of comments addressed directly to her, as if she would continue to check her page. Though over the years many of her friends have stopped writing on her page, occasionally a family member or close friend will write to Jamie, reminding her how much she is missed. One person who never ceased to write on jamie’s page was her mother, posting once a month since her death . Some criticize this, believing that profile pages prohibit loved ones from ever moving on, creating the illusion that the dead live on throught their profile pages. I disagree. As we all know losing a loved one is tough, and no one can tell you the correct way to deal with loss. Thefefore, if one finds comfort posting comments on the profile page of a loved one who has died, so be it!

It's strange how sites take on unprecedented roles. The creators of myspace and facebook had no idea that their sites would create a unique, widely accepted way of coping with death. While nothing stopped people in the past from writing letters directly to the deceased, profile pages have caused a dramatic increase in this practice for many reasons. For one, many decided against writing to loved one’s simply because they had nowhere to send these letter to. Today, profile pages provide an outlet for writing to loved ones.

There’s no doubt that sites like facebook and myspace are powerful new means of coping with death. One of the greatest comforts one can have when dealing with the death of a loved one is knowing that the deceased was loved and cared for by many during their life. It’s no wonder why Jamie’s mother continues to post on her daughter’s profile, struggling to let go of the same profile flooded by thousands of heartwarming comments expressing love for her daughter after her death.